


Because

by rizcriz



Series: tumblr is dying time to get compiling [30]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post Season 3, season 4 speculation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 15:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16956207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizcriz/pseuds/rizcriz
Summary: In which Quentin gets his memories back and makes a horrifying realization.





	Because

It’s Margo, because of course it is, that helps him remember. She practically flips a switch, and the parts of his mind–the Quentin within–that were off, are back on, and everything he was and isn’t is all there. Like it’d just been waiting for him to remember.

And he looks between her, and the creature, and back.

There are a lot of things to process. So many of them, in fact, that it’s overwhelming on literally every front his brain even tries to approach. Except one.

There’s a bullet whistling through the air, right past him, and embedding itself in the forehead of a man. He knows hte man, the name just isn’t coming back to him. Then he’s reaching for another man, grabbing on holding tight, scolding words on his lips–

And that man is the creature. Except not.

Eliot.

The creature is Eliot, but Eliot is not the creature.

Because.

He swallows, hands shaking at his sides as the world twists and turns around him. He feels a pair of hands grab at his shoulders, but he backs away, shoving mindlessly at the hands as he shakes his head.

Because.

“Q–”

It’s Margo. But she’s underwater. Or he is. Or it’s just the tears clouding his vision.

He shakes his head, continues backing up until he has nowhere left to go and his back hits the wall of the room. “No,” He manages to choke out, before his legs give out beneath him and he slides down the wall. Tremors shoot through his body, and his breaths come out angry and uneven, and he feels like he might be having a heart attack, his chest is so tight.

Because.

“Q, you’re having a panic attack–” 

That doesn’t matter.

Images of a soldier, telling him what he needs to know about the creature.They’re like silent movies dancing around in his head; he can’t hear what’s happening, but it’s like invisible subtitles follow the movements in a perfectly fucked up tango through his memories.

Because.

“–ould you just look at m–”

A blanket, and a kiss.

A blanket, and a kiss.

A lifetime.

Two.

A funeral.

He’s all alone.

Or, he was.

No, he  _is_.

Because.

“–we’re going to–”

Because.

His fingers are tingling. So is his nose.

But his breathing evens out, as the onslaught of memories follows. A steady thrum, careful and even continues on, tracking his heartbeat. A new memory for each ba-bump within his chest.

And he can finally open his eyes.

Margo’s looking at him. So is the creature, from it’s corner.

He blinks at them both.

“Q …”

He ignores her. Forces himself to stand on shaking knees, gaze locked on the creature.

Because.

Margo reaches up, fingers grazing against his shoulder. “Q, are you–”

He shrugs her hand off of him, and steps around her. “You,” He chokes, the words hoarse and barely audible. It doesn’t matter, though. He knows the creature can hear him.

It tilts its head.

Tilts  _Eliot’s_  head.

Waits for Quentin to continue.

He’s sore everywhere. Lungs are practically screaming, and his fingers are still tingling. But it’s okay. He likes the pain.

Because.

“You killed him.” 

Margo inhales, sharp.

The creature looks confused. If Quentin were still Brian it wouldn’t matter. But he’s not. And it does.

Because.

“You  _killed_  him!” 

It’s then, just as he lunges for the creature, and it dodges his grip, that his legs give out beneath him and crashes to his knees in the center of the room. “Y _ou killed him_ ,” He repeats, once, twice, three times into the floorboards.

He sees a montage of death in the memories. Of Eliot dying near him, or in his arms.

But one.

One where he gets to keep him until they’re old and withered.

One where he buries him.

Not this one.

Because.

It killed him, and took his place.

He hunches over himself.

He wishes Margo hadn’t fixed him, at all.


End file.
